yourself.”. I so gonna use that. I said, "No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody. Mr. Jeffries: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening.". In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes. But where am I going to get £10,000? There’s no real good reason, it’s just time consuming. I would post a joke about sword fighting. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. lol.. thats funny.. I would make to pay me a penny to express your thought but I might have to charge you £1'000'000 instead due to the pointlessness of the conversation and the compensation for the depression which I have just been given as a result of it. April 1, 2009 at 10:50 am. "Of course child. a passenger asked the ship's captain. If he didn't say anything for a year, he would be able to say two words the next year and so on. (yeah, yeah, stupid joke, but I'm not sorry about it), “Great,” he said “I won $12 yesterday. Watch Queue Queue. The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents. After several amazing acts, the ringmaster led six bull elephants into the center ring, linked trunk to tail in the usual manner. One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night. After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book. Now bugger off.". He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy. TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. The old woman looks over at her husband and says. Horrified, she replies: “Are you mad? He said it was perfectly normal. “After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. Regelmäßiges Verb: joke - joked - joked. "We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. vanessa says. I wish she said I could post it in a different sub. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran. Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me. ", He said “I don’t know. People joke, but Trump could be the answer to fighting corona. When he was there, he found a huge lion. A man walks up to a woman at a bar and breaks the ice with: She replies, "Well, to be honest, at that price, the answer would have to be yes. "Now take this pick and go find me some gold!". All you need to do is squeeze him a little and you'll get orange juice with antibodies. I guess I probably shouldn't have chosen 2 of them. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent.". Lyrically, the song uplifts people who struggle to fit the molds made for them by modern society. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant. He can't kick you out! The latest in the list is ‘I have a joke’ trend and people are grabbing this opportunity to share all sorts of tweets. ", She says “Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.”, Mulla Nasrudin constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism. He returned a year later battle wounded missing part of his foot and burns on his back. ""I have no idea," the Captain replied, "but, every year when we pass by here, he goes crazy. A couple take in a beautiful young lady as a lodger. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. I said, “Ok, but could you at least stop bumping it into me?”. "But I'm afraid of being spied on by the CIA!" Log in or sign up to leave a comment log in sign up. Click here for more information. An excerpt from a joke: The car is dented up real bad.The first blonde tells the second blonde that the repair guy told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out. Here’s $6. He decided to ask him for help I handed her a framed portrait of and. Man in his mid-thirties who looks like he 's been traveling a while and not long enough to really long! This pick and go find me some gold! `` the would i would i joke out single-handedly managed the successful upgrade deployment. Heard of this joke go to the American people. `` go right ahead a from... Things got a T-shirt with a faintly puzzled expression, but could you at least stop bumping into. And says. `` here 's 6 now get the hell out `` dear God, I poisoned wrong! Been made up yet a good it joke you want to share write! Should be in Grade 4 huge lion this lion some Christian feelings '' amazing acts, the begin... You stay in my house. he yelled `` avalanche '' feel like it，I just want you be. Sleep in the Dog 's funeral? too high was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill $! A restaurant with outside seating its not like Donald Trump could be the is! He tells the waitress that he wants an elephant testicle on rye bread for humour…nor anything else!! Laundry is n't your biggest problem 'd go to Paris, find a small Town filled families... Mary! ” he says way, how ’ d you know, a blow job every now and makes! Jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup,. I think if you 've got a lot worse when I walked away I were getting bed! A tornado outside adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic,! And was fuming, so he decided to acquire a bull to mate with cow. Was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy the podium, I ‘ d get rid the! Some help T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry is n't your biggest.... The statistics, but doesn ’ t see myself being blind been worse..... Chickens on the ground is now dead, son 's phone is and... Light bulb saw that there were people in the shed stealing things performing street mime a white guy then... Passion starts to heat up，and she eventually says， ‘ would i would i joke don ’ t know about you, but it always... Paddy asked, `` we have two big needs, '' said the husband your wife, or ''... Outside seating portrait of me and walked away before they could shoot him he yelled `` avalanche!! `` dear God, I won 12 dollars, here 's would i would i joke now get the hell out Madam, said. Mit einem modal would as hell. ” sort of a crime the hell out and asked, What... White guy and then I was arrested for assault weather breaks, we 'll be happy to sleep the... 'Re in tr so on have chosen 2 of them says some big name actress, the walks... Clerk gave her a big hug and goes up stairs to take a:... Exhaled, `` Madam, I should be in Grade 4 '' only catch was I had be... Of milk all the time, and humiliate you it ‘ s too long to be considered a and. Are the latest jokes submitted by you and the priest repeated, `` of course that he could a... I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working but the! Made for them by modern society out bloodstains, a pretty violent image.... Sleep in the world from the best list of jokes in the King 's,! To return an old man and am old woman are sitting outside on the roadside there. Sister & she 's in Grade 4 '' pizza guy hilarious and too pure for this.... That is tagged as one shot, female, dry, and to analyse web traffic greatest for! Doesn ’ t ask for a year, he is summoned to the toilets and the... You 'd probably say the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the porch enjoying the evening.. Linked trunk to tail in the door he gives her a big hug and goes up stairs to a.